i just conquered a fear! my hands were shaking and i broke out in a cold sweat, you know the kind where it feels like a thousand little needles are stabbing you? and i had that buzzing in my ears like i was going to faint but i didn't.

BUUUUT lol of course i also did something else i said i wouldn't do oops, it's not a really bad thing but it isn't helping with the overall recovery thing? whatevs i'm taking small steps two steps forward one step back blah blah

it's going to suck if someday i find this when i'm in my 20's or something, everything's so vague that even i won't know what the f i was talking about.

but there's security in my ill-defined writings, it's one of my walls

dear supposed entity in the sky,
i want to find somebody who makes me want to get rid of my walls please
sincerely chelsea

i shouldn't blog when i'm this tired i'm not going to let myself delete this and i'll regret it OOOOOHWELL!

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