beware the jub jub bird and shun the frumious bandersnatch

^^^ i want this tattooed, somewhere nobody will see it ever except for me and anyone i choose to share it with. in tiny curly letters and maybe with a few birds but permanence scares me so i'll have to give this some thought maybe it makes me sad that sometimes i still wonder if this is right this is me trying not to think anymore, today was good i think. i just wish you'd forget about the world sometimes when you look at me because i want to be the one who erases everything except for the little shadows across my bones and the way my hair sometimes falls in front of my eyes and the color my skin is in the sun. i love wearing your sweatshirt and your shoes and my old basketball shorts to gas stations at five in the morning, i'm just confused right now cute creature says cheer up, everyone, vida est decorus

i can't sleep and i am shit with words, don't be fooled

well, i guess an update is in order considering the way i've been neglecting this. i really haven't meant to but the days are moving so fast and before i know it i look and realize, oh, i haven't said a thing in a week i've been doing well, and for once this is the truth. i have more to focus on than what i am (not) eating and how easy it would be to play the xylophone on my bones. i have been working and learning and running on zero sleep because it's hard to go home when all i want is to stay there with you. i like sitting out on the street with you at two in the morning

life is moving so fast. i am deeply content, maybe even happy? i'm sorry, i'll try to stop neglecting this what a shitty 200th post lolllllll

are you lying to yourself?

All that you contrive, and all that you’re deprived All the bourgeois social angels telling you you’ve got to change Don’t have any idea. They’ll never see so clear. i've been busy, i guess. working, learning, laughing, blushing, hugging, kissing, experiencing, listening, touching, tasting. i miss writing, i miss reading, i miss when days seemed long enough. my days are full but they are full of good things and bright things. but there's still a little part of me that wonders what waits for me in the darkness, what if i just gave in and went back, what if i willed myself to disappear, what if i became the air you walk through and breathe in when you're alone, staring at your feet wondering what you're doing here, wondering where i am. i could vanish, you know, i know that i could, but i'm trying not to. keep holding on, i tell myself every day and it's working lately. but i still wonder, i think i'll always wonder