i'm hating the thoughts i'm having right now can't you go away won't you please.........

my brain is very distinctly divided into a logical side and an absolutely insane side. i do not mean a "romantic dreamer" side, i mean a self destructive, completely reckless side with absolutely not a care in the world for the effects this will have on me. and these two sides are constantly fighting and it's so exhausting to try and even it out and to listen to my logical side. it's what will save me but i can't hold onto it for long enough for it to do its job

i'm a giant collage of couldashouldawouldas and can'tdon'twon'ts.

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