154 just a question
how many times am i going to have to almost die until this feeling stays?
214 step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white ugh, this fucking headache. and i am disgusted with myself again. everything hurts i'm bleeding out the brain i'm pretty sure and it's not even late but i'm about to turn out the hotel light and sleep in my jeans. hair falling in my eyes forget i'm breathing i can feel my bones grinding and i just want to go home right now, i just want to go home she says, "shh, i know, i know it's only in my head" but the girl on the car in the parking lot says "man, you should try to take a shot can't you see my walls are crumbling?" then she looks up at the building, says "i'm thinking of jumping," she says, "i'm sick and tired of life" everybody's tired of something when did this happen and why does that inevitable ghost always seep into my skin and freeze my bones when the sun has just begun to warm me again