150 terrible terrible terrible

i'm way too upset to sleep EVER AGAIN my mind is just racing i did something stupid i went online and looked at the calories for what i had for dinner at tgi friday's (yay mother's day celebrations uum fuck) and i thought i was going to PASS OUT and i didn't even look up the dessert

i'm back to losing sleep over this kind of stuff what is going to happen to me i don't really want to get better right now

always comparing i hate this, the thoughts are saying "she wouldn't eat like that you better make up for it tomorrow"

i am having a shitty week right now and it's all because of food what a joke

something i regret:

look my little gold bracelet says the word hope on it i'm not going to lie i did that on purpose
but yeah the damage was done around christmas when i had just been admitted to mirasol and things were going not so hot for me, i know what people think now when they see my wrist and i can't decide whether i'm more amused by their horror or embarrassed


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