okay so last night was admittedly not my best night. and obviously neither is tonight since it is saturday and i'm at home blogging.... :(
i really shouldn't stay up late, i end up slipping into this sort of tired numbness or numb tiredness i'm not really sure which or if they're even different. if i sit and let my mind wander it always comes back to a bunch of ghosts sitting in a circle counting the freckles spread across the bridge of their nose and their shivering shoulders, and then i'll stop caring about the world and my life and i'll *****.
whenever i [do something dumb] i have these wild out of control dreams where i'm driving on the freeway and i can't control my car. last night was the worst. i dreamt i was driving and there was a motorcyclist stopped in front of me and my brakes wouldn't work and i hit him hard and crushed him/his bike. his legs were broken and all bending the wrong direction and i just kept saying i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry and i called 911 and they came and he was just screaming the whole time
and as always i wake up with my tongue and teeth and gums coated in guilt, like i'm choking on it and my mouth is too dry and i can't swallow. still saying i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry
- 161 i've never stopped believing
- 160 "you used to be that skinny, but not anymore"
- 159 demons
- 158 if i am lost for a day try to find me
- 157 nice day for a walk in the dark
- 156 non-regrets
- 155 i want to know what you think
- 154 just a question
- 153 no one's home
- 152 too blind to see tomorrow, too broke to beg or...
- 151 someday you'll be fine, yes i'll be just fine
- 150 terrible terrible terrible
- 149 'cause i want to pick peaches off a cherry tre...
- 148 i'm sorry
- 147 :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
- 146 i wish i had a single thought the least bit le...
- 145 i am on my own but it's nice to see you came a...
- 144 wasting words on lowercases and capitals
- 143 people love and they hate and i guess it's jus...
- ▼ May (19)