it's so, so hard to let yourself be happy when it always turns into this
i'm so frustrated i'm about to cry but i'm so exhausted that i can't
last friday i was walking on air and the sun was jealous of my eyes and i couldn't stop smiling even when i was alone. saturday i was still breathing deeply and happily and i went to bed with hope and cheeks sore from laughing. i woke up sunday morning and for no reason i couldn't stop crying and it was all i could do to get out of bed and go to work. i've been lying about how well i've been doing
i'm so fucking tired of being sad. i'm angry and i'm frustrated and i don't want to climb that mountain anymore, the one with laughter and hugs and peaches and eyes crinkling in the corners, because i know what's on the other side and it breaks my heart to let that joy go. every time it gets a little harder and
i'm crying now
- 176 happy birthday to me happy birthday to me
- 175 i've picked myself up off the floor and heard ...
- 174 maybe you just missed the sun
- 173 flutter
- 172 wanting to feel you, wanting to breathe
- 171 the night is here and the day is gone, and the...
- 170 and from this gutter we're still staring at th...
- 169 sleeeeeepy eyes sleepy sleepy gotta get up at ...
- 168 the day i thought i'd never get through
- 166 hands in my pockets, straightjacket mind, it's...
- 165 how weightless they must be, without feeling
- 164 i really do have so much to say but i'm no goo...
- 163 i owe you more than this
- 162 we've got a lot, don't you dare forget that
- ▼ June (15)