just so you know i've always been jealous of you too. i've always seen you as so beautiful and pure of heart and with nothing but dedication and a will to do what's right. and me, i was the one who gave the impression of being a lovely wonderful bright girl but i knew (i know) that inside i'm just a lie. i am not a golden girl, i am muddied and i envy and i manipulate and nothing's ever good enough. you worked and i had things given to me. i fucking hate saying that. i hate admitting that i think you are a better person than i am but i do. you are. and the more time goes by the stronger that gets. i feel like you're growing and becoming greater and i'm slipping back and becoming weaker.
but as much as i think that i know that i've dealt with a lot. so don't think i am choosing destruction over the one thing i love. i've come back literally from within seconds of killing myself and i've done it because
i have wings