184 like teen spirit

i never would have thought i'd be running through the sprinklers on the field of my old elementary school in the middle of the night, shaking the water out of my hair and wishing you'd just come give me a hug, what the fuck is wrong with me

but i will honestly consider this one of the best nights of my life, so this is why people smile. i feel quite literally like i am about to burst from just the sheer joy of everything and everyone that is around me.

i definitely lied before. i still like you. but if i let myself stop and think about all the reasons i shouldn't... well, every time i stop and think i ruin things, teach me to jump with my eyes closed
PS dear readers i'm sorry if i'm the most boring motherfucker you've ever encountered

Comments

Anonymous said…
i don't even know you, i found this by accident, but i've read every post and you are NEVER boring...i read you harder (?!) than i read a good book, i read your words like i'm going to find the purpose of life in them or something. i'm just so happy to see you've found some happiness, you give me so much hope. like i said i don't know you, so i'm not just saying that

please don't think happy=boring, i know that exact line of thinking and i find it very dangerous
i'm just like you, i don't want anyone to suffer and it kills me if they do and i want to control it all so bad, but when i see someone like you that is happy, it makes me happy, and the last thought in my mind is "wow you are one boring bitch"
July 20, 2009 at 4:39 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

155 i want to know what you think

Image
about anything, about everything and hey i promise you don't have to worry about me judging you have you seen some of the crazy shit i've written in here, i have no room to judge honestly i'm scared to enable comments because i'm afraid nobody will leave any but i just really want to hear what other people have to say
Read more

237 ssssssskin

Image
spent the weekend in flagstaff with seven other people in a cabin and now i hate them all except for three. well, i was never that enchanted by the rest of them anyways. one night i was so frustrated i slept in my car wrapped up like a cocooned caterpillar in t's sleeping bag and my (used-to-be) white hoodie. and the night before that i was just as much a mess but instead of being raged i was apathetic and crying and trying to get t to let go of me so i could drive home alone for 3 hours in the middle of the night, not that i would have been able to drive i am not enchanting or delightful or inspiring or interesting or lovely okay. i am a mask. i'm going to have a new scar from a moment of weakness over something so stupid it makes me want to puke and i'm just disgusted with myself, again. side note i do not get along with girls, at all. i spent the entire weekend avoiding the two girls that were there because i literally cannot be around them. so i am predisposed to dislik
Read more