239 and the coma you slip into will hold all this against you and you'll learn to bite your tongue when you speak

tonight i'm not going to cheat and use pictures from flickr, you will be seeing ACTUAL photographs from my ACTUAL life \o/ i've just always wanted to use that emoticon thing. and this one \m/ rock on.

hiii it's not late but i'm tired, the time at the bottom of these posts is always off sometimes it's not even on the right day. idk what time it's telling you but it is IN FACT 11:51pm here. and i need to get up by 6 in the morning ~~~enthusiasm***

i'm here to say that i'm just like all of you! i'm really normal. boring, even. i tend to become fascinated with people online through their blogs etc (not a creeper okay i just like getting lost in the life of a stranger from time to time, that's what books are right?!), and i almost put them on this unreal level where they're this ethereal being with perfect-like-honey words and their shoelaces never get worn out. you know why i think this happens? i'm only being exposed to a small part of their world, the part they're willing to share with me. the rest is their own. the people i know in person, especially the ones i'm close to, i see their world for what it is (at least to some extent), i hear them fumble over words because we have no backspace button, we only have our bumbling thoughts and tongue twisters and thoughts that come too fast for our mouths.

if you were to meet me in person, i think, you might not even believe i write this. i'm so normal! my room is a complete mess, my car is scratched up on the doors from the two times i've locked my keys in it and had to break in, i feel INSANELY awkward around people sometimes, i get flushed and embarrassed and hot-cheeked when i stumble over my words (often), my puppy:

chews up my shoes >:(, my phone dies, i don't give two shits about politics, i am insanely flaky when it comes to returning text messages, i have added people i didn't like or didn't even know on facebook just to up my friend count, i get stuck in routine, i hide my face in pictures:

i worry and overanalyze when people take too long to respond to a text/email/whatever because it MUST mean they don't like me right?!?!, and i need to do my laundry before it takes over my room any more. i will even take a picture to illustrate this:

YIKES so yeah i'm pretty typical. my laptop battery is about to die also which is probably a sign from god that i need to go to bed. i think i'm beginning to take a couple steps toward the light, again! this is a constant theme with me, obviously. thanks for sticking in there for those of you who actually read this! it makes me glad to know it hasn't all been in vain.