237 ssssssskin

spent the weekend in flagstaff with seven other people in a cabin and now i hate them all except for three. well, i was never that enchanted by the rest of them anyways. one night i was so frustrated i slept in my car wrapped up like a cocooned caterpillar in t's sleeping bag and my (used-to-be) white hoodie. and the night before that i was just as much a mess but instead of being raged i was apathetic and crying and trying to get t to let go of me so i could drive home alone for 3 hours in the middle of the night, not that i would have been able to drive

i am not enchanting or delightful or inspiring or interesting or lovely okay. i am a mask. i'm going to have a new scar from a moment of weakness over something so stupid it makes me want to puke and i'm just disgusted with myself, again.

side note i do not get along with girls, at all. i spent the entire weekend avoiding the two girls that were there because i literally cannot be around them. so i am predisposed to disliking half of the world's population AWESOME

also i used the words fuck/shit/asshole/cock/twatface probably 6000 times this weekend and talked bad about someone and laughed when r's droid phone said that s (one of the girls we were camping with) had a face like pig testicles so i'm officially going to hell.


.....wow so i wrote all of that yesterday and left it as a draft because i didn't feel finished with it yet. i was exhausted so forgive my excessive whining. instead here are the good things that happened at the cabin:

i sat in a treehouse for the first time in my life !!!
i am apparently a dart-playing fiend/prodigy and also a great scorekeeper
barq's rootbeer enough said
two hour long hike with j and t, discovering a canyon with a creek (i caught a tiny frog in my hand and he was just lovely despite his slimy complexion) and a small cavern where the light was KILLER GORGEOUS

btw i'm just letting you know all of the pictures on here lately have been from flickr so they link through to the original photographer because god knows i'm not that good

yeah other stuff but i'm battling my brain a little so that's it for now. skeet skeet


Anonymous said…
just because two girls are bitches that means you don't like the entire population of girls? come on now...what about all the girls you met at mirasol?
c said…
no, not just because of those two girls. out of all the girls at mirasol i only liked maybe 2. since i was young i've just gotten along better with guys. i mean i HAVE friends that are girls but for the most part i prefer to be around guy friends
Anonymous said…
pretty much every girl i have met has said that. and you said you don't get along with girls AT ALL, insinuating that you have no girl friends period.
c said…
don't split hairs with me anon i don't like girls. thanks for telling me what's up in my own head though :(
c said…
PS sorry anon i'm being an asshole you are right i like some girls. for the most part though i just find it easier to be around guys

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