May 1, 2010

227 nightmare pills

i fucked up my meds today,
:(((((((


stilllll struggling with body image shit. well not even body image so much as just this sick gross feeling i get after i've eaten and i'm full. guilt manifests itself into physical discomfort after so long, sometimes after i eat i feel like i should cry which is dumb. i haven't been restricting and i haven't purged in over 8 months but the other day i almost did. i'm always going to be in recovery, you know? it's never just gonna be gone. that's alright though i mean you get used to it and it's a lot brighter than it used to be in my head.

so tired but i can't sleep. ignoring text messages. probably going to cut up a magazine and make something. i need to start reading again, and making things. my horse's hoof was bleeding tonight, :( sigh.




my puppy is sleeeeeeepin. her name is bubbles look at how cute she is:






pound puppy we rescued her on 12/23/09. and she is the cutest thing ever. i snuggle with her at night because she's warm and soft and she likes to snuggle. okay that is all

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

that dog is so freaking adorable! and you are beautiful. how did you fuck your meds up? and yes, you're dealing with a mental illness. unfortunately those never go away. but it gets easier, like you said it has already.

c said...

thank you anon :) :)
i accidentally took my sleeping pill at noon when i was going to take another pill. sooo i ended up sleeping ALL DAY and then i was like well, wtf how am i going to sleep tonight.