227 nightmare pills

i fucked up my meds today,

stilllll struggling with body image shit. well not even body image so much as just this sick gross feeling i get after i've eaten and i'm full. guilt manifests itself into physical discomfort after so long, sometimes after i eat i feel like i should cry which is dumb. i haven't been restricting and i haven't purged in over 8 months but the other day i almost did. i'm always going to be in recovery, you know? it's never just gonna be gone. that's alright though i mean you get used to it and it's a lot brighter than it used to be in my head.

so tired but i can't sleep. ignoring text messages. probably going to cut up a magazine and make something. i need to start reading again, and making things. my horse's hoof was bleeding tonight, :( sigh.

my puppy is sleeeeeeepin. her name is bubbles look at how cute she is:

pound puppy we rescued her on 12/23/09. and she is the cutest thing ever. i snuggle with her at night because she's warm and soft and she likes to snuggle. okay that is all


Anonymous said…
that dog is so freaking adorable! and you are beautiful. how did you fuck your meds up? and yes, you're dealing with a mental illness. unfortunately those never go away. but it gets easier, like you said it has already.
c said…
thank you anon :) :)
i accidentally took my sleeping pill at noon when i was going to take another pill. sooo i ended up sleeping ALL DAY and then i was like well, wtf how am i going to sleep tonight.

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