196 you're a bird on a wire

i've had a headache for days, it's sitting right behind my eyes, and i don't know what we're doing
or if it's worth all this ache and sick twists in my stomach and the staying up late and waking up early. neglecting the things i need to do and telling you no, no, but not being able to convince you. there are parts of myself i am not willing to lose and there are other things that need to come first and that's just that.

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my arms are all itchy from alfalfa and on saturday i was at work for 9 hours because i was supposed to get 12 boxes of shipment done while i was main cashier and i couldn't get off the register for like .5 seconds because it was so flippin busy man. the shipment took forEVER it was all shoes that were packaged weirdly, whoever packaged them i want to punch in the stomach. my boss was being stupid and any time i tried to talk to someone she'd be like STOP CHATTING START WORKING even though i was working because apparently she doesn't understand the concept of multitasking. i also ripped my nail BAD, down to the quick and it was bleeding and all, of course this happened during a transaction so i was like WHOA definitely have to act like that didn't happen "hey have a great day thanks for coming in we'll see you next time here's some coupons" and all the while i had to like SMILE at people who were irritating me. that's the thing about retail ugh peo…
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if nostalgia was water I'd have drowned!

I don't even know how I ended up back here. Actually, I do. Typical Chelsea - starting a post out with a lie!

To be honest I didn't even think this blog would still exist. I figured if I typed in the URL, some 404 error would pop up and I'd find a "sorry, this blog no longer exists because it's ancient" message. That made me a little sad, to think of all those words I'd written and read and reread, just lost somewhere on the internet.
So in the middle of the world's most boring class on taxation, I typed it in. It felt SO silly. Self-indulgent. Completelystaged - who even WAS I back then?
It's been 6 or 7 years since my last post. Can you (rhetorical you, as I know this site has long since dropped off the planet) even believe that? I don't even live on the same side of the country any more. There's so much - too much - to ever catch up on.
That being said, this blog was the greatest fucking gift I could have ever given to myself.
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