bubble bath envy
things are good. i can say that now and mean it. this september i lived through the biggest heartbreak of my life thus far, and i know now that i can live through anything. i get tired sometimes but it's not enough to break me like it used to. usually i just need to sleep it off and spend a day being a hermit in sweats and a giant hoodie and no makeup, watch scrubs on netflix and skip the gym in favor of some frozen yogurt. it's okay to do that sometimes, you know? we all need a break. the most valuable thing i've learned is that it's good to take a break. it doesn't make you weak, or lazy, or unmotivated.
tonight i decided to be productive and i made dinner and i'm quite pleased with myself so pardon me while i explain everything i made! i cooked up some tofu in bbq sauce and had that with some whole wheat pita bread and had carrots and edamame hummus on the side, then for dessert i had pomegranate greek yogurt with cinnamon almonds to make it nice and sweet. it was deeeeelicious. i just was too proud of myself to not say anything about that sooooo
there's thunder outside and it's been freezing here lately. my internal temperature can't regulate itself anymore as a result of the eating disorder, so when it's hot i feel like i'm a step away from the gates of hell, and when it's cold i feel like someone shut off the sun and submerged me in an ice bath for forever. i'm wearing fuzzy socks that keep my feet toasty but my poor little hands are frozen and my fingers are stiff. also i keep my ceiling fan on year round because it's too quiet in my room with it off and i can't sleep.
i don't know what all this means, i just felt like i needed to update. i'm doing good, you guys! i hope you are too. give yourself a break tomorrow, if you can, it's the greatest
i need to start writing again, i've been putting it off and my mind has suffered and sometimes there are so many thoughts i can't handle it
PS random thought why are my bubble baths never as fluffy as the ones in the movies that's really all i've ever wanted my whole life