beware the jub jub bird and shun the frumious bandersnatch

i just realized that the last post i made yesterday kind of makes me seem miserable? which i'm really not, i really have been especially happy lately. and i'm grateful for so many things and so many people, i don't know what i'd do without them honestly but right now i'm drinking airborne and it is really gross but it's better than getting a cold! nothing of importance has happened in the last 24hrs and i probably shouldn't update this twice a day because it will get boring... i'll try to only update with interesting things i promise.

...but i don't know for sure

my mom is watching a movie with mark wahlberg in it. i always liked him, except he's really too good at playing creepy stalker boyfriends (Fear) but in this one he's just a druggie. i feel like i have so much to say but no words? it's hard to explain but the way i feel is like... you could compare it to a certain taste. you know what an apple tastes like but if somebody's never had an apple how do you tell them what it's like??? i feel guilty whenever i am sad because i know my life isn't bad compared to most, so i smile all day because then i won't feel guilty. except for today because today i literally sat on my ass!! all day! in front of the computer! lame! and well in front of the tv too but what's the difference. and i played cards for a while on my green fuzzy carpet in my room and i watched a little of that movie dan in real life. and it was so *depressing* in parts but then it also made me happy... i like songs that make me cry but i love songs t...

i never ever ever can figure out how to make these things look exactly the way i want them to....... i made a decision last friday and it is one i'm very very happy with, for once. but i chew gum all day long and supposedly that causes ulcers because when you chew that much it makes your stomach go "omg i should be digesting" so it produces stomach acids for no reason so sorry, body, sorry the reason i love reading is because sometimes i find these books where the author is able to articulate something i feel but can't put into words and it makes me feel like maybe i'm alright